Link gets a Job
by Gonzales512
Summary: After Luigi's disaster, Link decides to get a job as a security guard. But there's a conspiracy in his new job that Link doesn't know. Can he stop it in time. "T" for violence and for the story being stupid.


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Link Gets a Job

Gonzales512

Damn, I hate Springfield, MO. Their cheapest gas cost 3.72 It would be a miracle if we saw prices like that in the west… Lucky bastards.

* * *

"So how was your job," said Mario. "How much did you make?"

"Twenty dollars," Luigi responded.

"TWENTY DOLLARS?" Peach questioned. "That was the best you could do?"

"Sorry but –"

"You got fired. That's great," Peach said. "Now everyone else has to work harder to start saving money. Haven't you heard? The Super Smash Bros. Mansion got foreclosed yesterday."

"WHAT!" yelled Fox as he came walking in their new place.

"That's why we're living, all bunched up in a single mobile home in some mobile home park in south Smash City?" Fox asked.

"Yes," said Princess Peach. "Master Hand said that the Super Smash Bros. were going out of business and couldn't pay the mortgages so the bank took away the mansion. Were doomed!"

"Wait," said Fox. "I thought that stupid hand had money."

"Yeah until he blew it all on hand related stuff," said Princess Peach. "Besides, we all had to get jobs to pay the rent."

Then Link came walking in the crowded living room of the small mobile home that they had to share.

"What! I don't want to work. It's too hard," complained Link.

"Don't worry. I was looking in the classified ads and found a good job," said Princess Peach.

"Hmm… a security guard. That sounds fun. Oooh and the pay's good. 50 bucks an hour.

"Wow, said Mario. "That's more than I make in a day. Although that's less then what Master Hand spends every hour every day."  
"That's it. I'll take the job," announced Link.

* * *

Later, Link drove off to the northern part of Smash City, the business district area where most of the businesses thrive. High rise buildings can be seen in all directions. Finally, after driving on endless one way roads and getting lost 63 times, he finally arrived to where he got his job.

"YoshiTech Corp," Link read the words displayed at the top of the 55 story building. He pulled into a nearby parking garage across the street from the building and finally found an empty spot on the 14th story of the parking garage. Then he went down 8 stories in an elevator that took him to a bridge that led him across the busy street into the building. There, he was greeted by his boss.

"Yoshi! You run this company? That explains why I never see you around anymore at the Super Smash Bros. Mobile Home," Link was amazed.

"Of course. Hey guys, meet the new security guard," said Yoshi.

There were three workers around, Princess Daisy, Birdo, and Falco. They turned around to see Link.

"Congratulations Link, I guess you've finally decided to join the 21st century, now that you're trading in your sword and shield for guns and armor," Falco laughed.

"Welcome aboard," said Yoshi. "Let me lead you to your office."

Yoshi led Link to his office, which was full of video monitors and a Windows 2000 computer. Link logged in the computer and started his job.

Later that day, there was no one that tried to do anything that affected the company, until he saw two suspicious guys in a video monitor in the 21 story parking garage. One of the guys was holding a crowbar and was standing next to a car that seemed familiar to Link.

"Holy crap, that's my car," Link yelled as he set off the alarm. All the workers in the building started screaming and running around like idiots. Many people started jumping out of windows and hiding under their desks. Then Link climbs to the very top of the building, jacking the company helicopter and flying to the parking garage. On his way, he saw a stack of Yoshi magazines and a white substance on the pile. He got off the helicopter and on the top of the parking garage where he took the elevator down to the 14th floor and seeing the two suspicious guys trying to jack his car.

Then suddenly, the helicopter explodes, making the parking garage collapse and took hundreds of cars with it. Surprisingly, Link's car was the only car that remained unaffected. But the two guys survived the building collapse and starts heading for the car. But Link was ready. He pulls out a remote control like the one in the James Bond movie, Tomorrow Never Dies and starts driving around his car, even though he wasn't in his car. The thieves got in their cars and starts driving behind Link's car.

He took the swirly ramp to get to the lower levels of the parking garage until he finally got to the bottom of the parking garage. He drove through the exit booth without paying and started driving at an intense speed. Three short seconds later, the cops were after Link's car which one of them unfortunately, crashed into a pole, another to a McDonald's restaurant and explodes, cooking a million burgers simultaneously.

The result was a mess, a McDonald's was gone, a pole beat a car, and Ike pissed in his pants in the process.

"HEY!" Ike yelled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yoshi was in his soundproof office, not knowing that the alarm had gone off. There was a suitcase in front of him, and another suitcase on top of the other suitcase. He opened up the suitcase and revealed a box, which he opened up and revealed another box. He opened the box and revealed a glowing bar, which he put back in the box as he grinned evilly. He opened up the other suitcase which revealed to be 50 million dollars cash. He evilly and slowly closed the suitcase.

"Soon this world shall be mine, HA HA HA HA HA!" Yoshi laughed as lightning flashed in the background as the room got dark all of a sudden.

* * *

Link guided his car back up the parking garage after ditching the thieves back at a pillow factory, which was demolished. As the car came near him, he pressed a button that opened a window and jumped in the moving car. But just then, another car was after him (insert James Bond theme here) He drove back down the parking garage, takes out a gun that Yoshi had gave him for his job, and starts firing at the car, which exploded. He saw the car explode and turns around just in time to see a brick wall right in front of it and crashes, causing him to fly out of the car, through the brick wall, leaving a shape of Link in the wall.

* * *

Back in the building, the alarm had gone off a long time ago as Yoshi got out of his office and walked to a room. The room was very different from the rest. It resembled more of a lab and took the two suitcases with him. He took out the glowing rod and located a huge machine with a hole in the center of it.

"Once I insert this glowing rod into the hole, it will send a signal to every building around, causing them to explode. Gwa ha ha ha ha!" Yoshi grinned evilly as he started inserting the glowing rod into the hole. A blue liquid in the machine started to boil faster.

* * *

Back in Smash City, Link was getting chased around by a bunch of chickens after he tried killing one for lunch.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!" he screamed as the chickens were poking him until he tasted blood. Then he started punching the chickens but more chickens started attacking him and a random sheep landed on Link, crushing most of the chickens on him. He got up and started running away as the sheep randomly exploded, taking a 48 story building down.

It was already dark when Link saw his car, which for some reason turned back into good condition and got in the car and drove off back to work and to find luck finding another parking garage. Then he got chased by a military tank and followed him until they got to the top of a 25 story parking garage near YoshiTech Corp.

Suddenly, Link got an idea. A random light bulb appeared on his head, which eventually fell on his head and getting broken, which caused him to forget an idea.

_Why do when I always get a great idea, I forget it at the last minute, _Link thought. He found out that the tank was still chasing him so he drove off the building for some reason and plowed into the company building. Link jumped out of his car as it exploded, and landed in a hallway on the 33rd floor in YoshiTech Corp. He saw the tank attempt to plow into the building but couldn't get enough speed and fell and crash-landed on the street, causing the entire street to explode.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Super Smash Bros. Mobile Home, Peach and Zelda were cooking dinner for the rest of the Smashers, who were forced to sleep outside tonight.

"Why do we have to sleep outside tonight anyways?" Roy asked Pikachu. "It's cold, windy and there's a pig out there trying to eat me."

"There's no such thing as a man eating pig. Now suck it up."

"Hey," came Mario. "I found a heater we could use."

"Yeah, but how are we gonna power it up," asked Captain Falcon. "Peach said we couldn't use their electricity since we waste so much of it."

"Hmm… hey I've got a great idea," Mario said as a random light bulb appeared. Luigi grabbed the light bulb and smashed it into Mario's face.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Mario yelled.

"For always getting the spotlight. I want to be known too!"

"Hey, some people are trying to sleep," yelled an angry neighbor.

"Can't you see I'm trying to get some peace and quiet," yelled another angry neighbor. Soon the whole mobile home park was starting to wake up in the middle of an unpleasant night.

"I've got an idea," said Mario. "Why don't we use Pikachu to power up the heater.

"What am I? Your slave? Hell no!" Pikachu answered.

But Mario grabbed the plug and plugged it into Pikachu. And immediately, the heater started working.

"Ahh, heat finally. TAKE THAT PEACH!"

"Dude, this is gonna suck," said Mario. "The neighbors got mad, Princess Peach got mad for trashing her castle, and now there's a man-eating pig on the loose."

"I hope Link's job pays off," responded Luigi.

* * *

Link walked into the nearest room to take cover. Coincidentally, it was the very lab where Yoshi was performing his ingenious crime. He had almost completely inserted the rod into the machine when a bodyguard comes out of nowhere and starts punching Link. Link grabs the guard and throws him out a window, falling and crashes into a pig in mid-air, causing another explosion. Yoshi turns around and throws a rock at link, in which he used his shield to block it and was reflected, back to Yoshi, who got hit by the rock.

"That's it," said Yoshi. "Let me get this over with," Yoshi said as he fully inserted the rod into the machine. The liquid in the machine started to boil so fast, that gas started hissing out of the machine. But Link pressed a button on the control panel that caused the glowing rod to be ejected out of the machine and fly out the window, hitting a nearby news chopper and causing it to explode. The liquid cooled down and the hissing stopped.

Yoshi was pissed. He got out a parachute and announced, "Hasta la vista, losers." Yoshi jumped out the window and opened up the chute. But Link grabbed a gun and shot and put a hole in the parachute. Now the parachute ripped and Yoshi fell but fortunately landed on a blimp. But the bad news was that the blimp was full of hydrogen, which was flammable, and didn't have helium, like most blimps. Yoshi didn't know and pulls out an HP Jornada PDA to check his status, pressed a button and –"

KAAAAAAAAABBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!! The explosion was loud and huge. It lit up the whole city which made all the environmentalists stop crying about global warming and Link saw a suitcase on the table and decided to open it up. It was indeed, the one with the big ones, 50 million dollars.

"Yay! I'm rich," cried Link happily, and used the money, with nothing left over to buy back the mansion.

* * *

**A/N:** Another Job related story finished.

**Link:** TAKE THAT, BANK OF AMERICA!

**THE END, NOT YET!**


End file.
